I understand you have frustrations.
But the moment you alt-f4, you lose all right (imo) to complain about multiplayer problems in AOE2, seeing as you are actively causing one of the biggest of these problems, experienced by a lot of people (which is why there is a tagged post about this right now.
So if you really still feel you have the right to alt-f4, then there’s not much I have to say to you. I’ll await what solution the Devs have in mind, who - unfortunately for you, apparently - agree that players alt-f4ing is a problem.