Or, make multiplayer pauses into timeouts like they have in sports. Each player begins the game with a certain number of timeouts. Let’s say two 30 second timeouts and two 1 minute timeouts. Hitting pause charges the player with a 30 second timeout. Shift pause is a 1 minute timeout. A countdown appears and the game automatically resumes at that point. Neither players can ‘unpause’.
Both players are allowed to scroll, chat, and command units (like in a single player game) during the timeout – similar to how coaches are allowed to give advice to players. This would allow players to use legitimately use pauses strategically when they are getting overwhelmed, just like in sports.
Just ran into an unexpected opponent castle? Call a timeout. Command your units to retreat. Command your siege to attack. Maybe queue some stuff at your base. When the timeout ends the action resumes.
Need to run to the answer the door or let the dog out? Fine. Call a timeout without fear of unpause. However, your opponent doesn’t have to sit bored. They can review their map and issue commands.